Clones, Babies, Honey, Mom

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

Bizarro is brought to you today by How To Treat Heat Prostration.

I have been remiss in my blogging responsibilities of late. Spending a week one block from Hell will do that to a person. I was in Texas and Oklahoma visiting family and experienced the daily 100+ degrees of what is being called “the worst heat wave in the history of this area this month.” Oklahoma isn’t actually Hell, but you can easily walk to it from there. Daily highs averaged around 106, the high temperature I experienced was 111 degrees on Saturday. At midnight, when the city was quiet and temps are still in the high 90s, you could hear Satan laughing as he watched reruns of Two and a Half Men. It was chilling, but not in a way that made it any cooler.

Local politicians are making a big deal out of telling people to “pray for rain” and lower temps. It’s funny to me that Republicans claim to have a monopoly on friendship with “God” but it’s the red states that god smites with the worst weather. The Texas/Oklahoma heat wave/drought this year, multiple hurricanes in Florida, Katrina in Louisiana. I’d revisit that relationship if I were them. Or pick up a science book and find out what actually causes weather.

Now that I’m back in NYC, I’ll be blogging more often. These four cartoons will get us caught up to date. Though a parent is always reticent to admit a favorite among their children, my favorite among this group is probably the dyslexia joke because I like cartoons that you have to think about for a few seconds. I expected to get some complaints from sufferers of dsyleixa, or, more likely, the parents of children with dyslexia. I usually do in these cases, but not so far. Fingers crossed.

Oh, I almost forgot. My dad told me about a new state law that is as dumb as we have come to expect from Oklahoma politicians: drivers under the age of 18 are forbidden from texting while driving. But not over 18. Sure. Makes perfect sense.

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