Chocolate Philosophical Footwear

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

Bizarro is brought to you today by Tasty Technology.

Man (woman, child, undecided), it has been a wild week. So busy, so stressful, so unpredictable. Some of it has to do with family medical issues, some with my Top Secret Mystery Project, some with deadline juggling: all those elements have combined to make it difficult for me to find time to do my favorite cartoon-related acitivity –– blogging.

But all’s well that ends well. So here are some cartoons from this week that I hope you will enjoy.

Cartoon one: she lives in a shoe! Get it? But how could a shoe house a family? It could if it had 3 bedrooms and 2 baths! Ahhahahahahahahahah!

Anthropologists agree that agriculture was a big part of what made us humans so dominant in the world. Once a society has got plenty of food, it has time to dedicate to pure thought: discovery, invention, philosophy, more interesting hairstyles. It is a popular adage that only cockroaches will survive a worldwide nuclear holocaust, thus leaving them plenty of food, no predators, and plenty of time to philosophize. And this brings us to this cartoon, where over-evolved roaches contemplate the meaning of the word “successful” in terms of the longevity of a species. Hmmm.

Houseflies don’t live very long and that was the inspiration for this Housefly Grim Reaper gag by my good pal and colleague, Wayno. (I recently saw a photo of Wayno on the Interwebs with a caption that identified him as “Pittsburgh cartoonist, Wayno, a known associate of Dan Piraro.” I don’t know if the FBI captioned the photo, but it makes us sound like criminals. I kind of dig it.

Here is Wayno’s eloquent musing about this cartoon and our collaboration on the positive-thinking chimps of last Sunday.

As the saying goes, if you don’t like chocolate, you’re a brain-eating zombie. I don’t know if anyone actually says that, but I just did. Almost everyone likes chocolate and for good reason; it’s delicious. It’s also pretty fattening, especially in the forms that it is most often offered–– full of sugar and milk. As a vegan, I’m happy that I can still enjoy dark chocolate. This cartoon is a simple but delightful use of an alternate meaning for the word “dark.” If you like chocolate and black humor, this cartoon is made to order. (Yes, I know that last sentence sounded like some PR bullshit from a sales catalog.)

All of these and more Bizarro cartoons can be found on so many snazzy products here.