By Jeremy Meltingtallow

Is it me? Am I alone here? Based on blogs and articles I’ve read, I’m guessing…no. What am I talking about, you ask? I’m talking about tweens and teens disguised as hoochie mamas. This is more than just a pet peeve. I’m literally scared for womankind. I’m scared my daughters will be judged solely on their “hotness.” For pete’s sake, last year my 7-year-old told me a classmate had called her “hot.” I asked her what that means and she shrugged.


I’m all for a girl feeling attractive, but come ON. I’ve seen acrylic fingernails on a 6-year-old. I’ve seen words written across the butts of toddlers’ pants. I’ve seen cleavage where cleavage shouldn’t be. I’ve also observed so much makeup and hair extensions on celebrity kids, they resemble Bratz dolls more than…well, Bratz dolls. And don’t get me started on my kids’ favorite store, “Justice”…my washing machine is constantly full of glitter.

Yes, this is nothing new, but I worry it’s getting worse. There’s a lot of superficiality everywhere. I try to preach “inner beauty” to my kids. I hope it’s sinking in. I have a feeling it’ll continue to be my hot button (no pun intended), and will spawn more comic material as my kids mature. Just another level of feminism to heap onto the pile.

This brings to mind something that occurred in our household the other night. Our family was watching the one and only reality show we’re addicted to: “Chopped” (Food Network). As usual, we tried to guess who would be eliminated in each round. My older daughter said, “The lady will get chopped because ALL the girls do.” That did it. I went off on a 10-minute tirade, explaining that by statistics alone, all the women should be eliminated because usually there’s only 1 female chef among the 4 contestants. Of course, sometimes the girls do win.

Anyway, I also told her those women had to work very hard to prove themselves in a predominantly male field (much like cartooning and humor writing, I might add). I think she paid more attention to my hysterics than to my actual words, but let’s hope something got through…I don’t go off on feminist tirades very often.

I’m not sure what my point is. I think I’m venting. Let’s just hope I can someday look back on this blog entry and laugh at everything I was worried about. If anything, for my kids’ sake.