Devilish Complaint

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

Hi, kids, how’s life on Earth? I recently got some interesting hate mail that I’ve been meaning to share with you. It was in conjunction with one of Wayno’s cartoons during his guest week. Poor Wayno. It seems he’s made an enemy in both this world and the next.

The cartoon in question:











And here’s the complaint:

Hello, I don’t know what your name is and that may be a good thing, I am writing about this mornings warped alleged cartoon in this mornings paper.

I am a Christian and the material is completely offensive to myself and any other Christian who takes their Christianity seriously.

There is a real Satan, there is a real Hell, there is a real 666, and there really are demons. as a worldly individual I realize you would know nothing about these facts and even if you thought that maybe they were real in your mind, you would come back with, “that’s your opinion”, that where your wrong. Even most people who aren’t Christians are smart enough to know that Hell and Satan are real. I don’t know your name so I’ll just call you, Not to bright, I’ll tell you something else, if you had a chance to see the real devil, you would be messing your pants, he is real and just waiting for you to screw up, and when you do, and you die; you will meet your worst nightmare face to face.

I don’t usually do this but for you I will, if you want the real true story about Satan and 666 and Hell, please give me a call. My E-mail is (withheld), I will be happy to educate you. I am a Christian who is saved by the Grace of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. If you want to know the truth about what you think is funny, I’ll be glad to share my story, however if you are just somebody who thinks the world is a big joke, don’t waste your time or mine. I don’t want to see you in Hell, but it’s up to you.

In closing please pray about this I am serious.

Thank you.


You may notice the “J C” salutation, but I don’t think it is from THE “J.C.”  My guess is that The Son of God might know a little something about punctuation and grammar. His email address had him listed as “J C (last name)” which I’m withholding because I’m not a total douche. But fortunately for you, I am enough of a douche to share when I get this kind of gem.

To my Christian readers who do believe in Hell, we’ll have to agree to disagree, but I’m of the disposition that even if you believe in The Devil, a goofy cartoon about him isn’t particularly harmful.