Petite Parasites

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

Bizarro is brought to you today by Power Babies.

I haven’t invited anyone to my house in years, not because I’m antisocial, which I sort of am, but because I’m lazy and don’t want to clean up the house. Also, when I visit others, I can leave when I get bored. When they visit me, there is no easy, polite way to get rid of them. I may be an antisocial curmudgeon, but at least I’m polite. Here are a few creative ways I’ve used to get rid of unwanted company in the past. It is worth noting that not all of these worked very well.

1. Put on some super-tight bike shorts and start working out with my yoga ball.

2. Casually mention that the next morning I have an appointment with exterminators to finally deal with those damned bedbugs.

3. Alert them about my paranoid, gun-wielding downstairs neighbor who patrols the lobby after 11pm.

4. Pour a cup of water onto my lap, jump up and tell them I’m going into labor.

This cartoon was the brainchild of my buddy and colleague, Wayno. Here’s his story about it.

I love cartoon characters with tiny heads. I don’t know why, it’s just funny. Maybe it is because I have an abnormally small head, as can be seen in this picture of my wife’s grandmother (who hates me) and myself.


If you’d like to get one of these cartoons on a fine product for the parasite or Mr. Petiter Head in your life, go here.