Marriage and Taxes

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

Bizarro is brought to you today by Tax Day.

Today is not just the day (in the U.S.) that your tax returns are due, it is also my wife’s wedding anniversary. Since I was there, too, she makes me celebrate with her. So here are a couple of tax cartoons and some comments on our ninth anniversary.

Ashley and I had been dating for just two months (here we are at the top of the Empire State Building on our first date in Feb of ’02) when she asked me to go on a road trip vacation from Los Angeles to Las Vegas with her family. I had not previously met them so we all said our hellos in L.A. and the next day piled into a big van and drove to Vegas. In the car were her mom and stepdad, her bio-dad, her grandmother, her aunt and uncle, and a family friend. I’m not good at math but I recall there were around 35 people crammed into that van. When we arrived at our hotel in Vegas, I announced that I had a surprise for everyone and would like them to meet me in front of the hotel in a few hours. At the appointed time, we all showed up in front of the hotel and a giant limo showed up. I asked CHNW to get into the car with me while everyone waited outside, proposed to her, then got back out and announced that we’d be going to City Hall for a license, then to a chapel for the wedding. They were mortified, of course, but behaved reasonably well and accompanied us to our nuptials. Elvis presided over the affair; the picture below is the moment before the ceremony at which I realized he actually believed he was Elvis.

So today we celebrated by mailing off our tax check then going to our favorite acupuncture place here in Brooklyn; CHNW for her lower back and I for something a kid said to me in 8th grade gym class that still hurts my feelings.  After our therapy we went a couple doors down to one of our favorite restaurants for lunch. Later tonight we will go to a favorite restaurant in Manhattan for dinner. This may sound dull to most of you but my wife is elated that she managed to get me out of the house TWICE in ONE DAY.

My good buddy, Wayno, wrote the puppet tax preparer joke above.  Click here for his story about it.


Where can you get these cartoons on a wide variety of products? Here! PUPPETPREPARE…