Pun on Sunday

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

Want to see this cartoon bigger? Click the bald guy’s butt crack.

Bizarro is brought to you today by Destiny.

Oh rapture, oh joy, it is another Sunday Punnies! I’ve lost track of how many in this recurring series I’ve done; seems like 11 or 12. The way it works is that these are a collection of the best oddball puns sent in by readers. If you think you have a pun that would be groovy, swell, or awesome in a future Sunday Punnies, leave it in the comments section of this post. Also tell me what name you’d like me to use to credit you. I prefer first intital and last name, first name and last initial, or a nom de plume of your choosing.

NOTE: I won’t post the comments with pun suggestions as that may ruin the fun for readers if I use it (or embarrass you unnecessarily if it really stinks) so don’t be worried or upset when they don’t appear in the comments. I am reading them all.

WHAT I’M LOOKING FOR: Must be original – if you’ve heard or seen it elsewhere, please don’t submit. I also like puns that the average person would not come up with on his own. I’m looking for something surprising.

I’ve been remiss in posting cartoons this past week as I was busy with another project, so here are a few cartoons to catch us up. This first one is a parody of an actual disgusting reality show about people with mental illness. I have never seen it and hope to continue on that path for the rest of my life. If I want to delve into the private lives of people with mental illnesses, I’ll visit my relatives.  I might possibly watch a show called “Herders,” however, because I like sheep.

Our next ‘toon today is about a woman who is playing hard to get. I’ve not had much experience in this area because I’m too insecure to offer to buy a stranger a drink. Or a hat or a condo or a bottle of Windex, for that matter. In fact, I find it extremely difficult to talk to strangers, most especially when I find them sexually attractive, so when it comes to hot hook-ups I’m left with women who approach me first. However, I don’t find women who hit on men to be very attractive, so I’m out of luck again. I don’t know if it’s genetic or learned behavior but it hasn’t suited me well in those times of my life when I was single. Now that I’m married, it helps me avoid temptation so there’s the silver lining. Consequently, CHNW (my wife, for those of you not familiar with this blog’s vernacular) has little to worry about me picking up women or being picked up. Also, I am an ethical person who does not believe in lying to one’s spouse, so the whole thing is a dead issue. Sorry Penelope Cruz.

Our final offering today is a collaborative effort with my good friend and colleague, Wayno. We both live in urban environments where space can be precious. It is amazing how much New Yorkers can make of a tiny space. I’ve seen storefront spaces for rent on the street that are no bigger than the average bathroom in most of America, only to see them become a full bar and restaurant a couple of weeks later. Living spaces can be even smaller; I know a woman who has her TV mounted outside her window because it is too wide for her apartment.

Come back next week, probably Tuesday, for more fun and shenanigans, PLUS step-by-step instructions on how to make dinner napkins out of the sleeves of everyday clothing.

Find yourself wanting these cartoons on fine products? Here’s how: Sunday PunniesSheep HerdersBuy Me a DrinkTiny Bed