Man Hate

By Jeremy Meltingtallow

Oh joy, oh rapture, I’ve received another piece of classic hate mail! I get complaints from time to time – some ridiculous and some legitimate – the vast majority of which I am happy to answer politely.  But occasionally I get one from a rude nitwit that doesn’t warrant a polite answer and when that happens, I bring it to you. Today is your lucky day.

The subject of today’s diatribe is the cartoon at left, which ran on Valentine’s Day, 2011. I’ve blurred the address, but I had to share the name because it seems particularly allegorical. Click the image of the letter below for a larger view.

Mr. Mann’s complaint is somewhat legitimate in that white males take a lot more comedy abuse than any other faction of our society. But the reason is simple: white males run the world. It is always more judicious to attack the top than the bottom. Attacking women,  children, ethnic or religious minorities, the disabled, etc., is kicking someone when they are down, so diplomatic comedians aim higher. It is also important to note that the funny pages of newspapers are a very conservative place. Getting away with a joke about sex is difficult enough even when the subject is a middle-aged married couple. If the man had delivered this line, it would have conjured up images of his asking for anal sex or bondage and the wife refusing – everyone knows that in general, men are more sexually perverse than women. (God, I hope that comment generates another wave of hate mail! Maybe from a dominatrix!)

Regarding Mr. Mann’s specific concerns, I admit that he is right on some accounts. Women have as many “foibles” as do men. Duh. But many also have a sense of humor about themselves and their sex. But most people of either sex are less good humored about these issues within their own relationship. I can get away with poking fun at women in general (as I will in my March 25th cartoon, which I cannot yet share with you) but I may not be able to get away with poking fun of my wife in person. That’s just the way things work, Mr. Mann.

My guess is that Mr. Mann has not had the best of luck in bed with Mrs. Womann and is taking it out on me. I’d also guess he is a regular listener of Rush Limbaugh. That’s fine. If slapping a faceless cartoonist makes his day a little more bearable, count me in.

Lastly, he accuses me of being a “metrosexxual castrati.” I’ve never been quite certain what a metrosexual (even with one “x”) is, but my desktop dictionary defines it as a “a young, urban, heterosexual male with liberal political views, an interest in fashion, and a refined sense of taste.” It says nothing about the presence or lack of testicles. Personally, I take that description as a compliment, but I don’t fit firmly in all of the mentioned categories. I’m not young, I am urban and heterosexual, I have liberal political views, I have an interest in fashion as far as what I wear goes but have fair disdain for the world of fashion in general, and I have put some thought into my sense of taste, though I’m not sure if one would call it “refined.” I still have both testicles, but I’ve had a vasectomy, and I like women but am not afraid of their opinion of me. So what does that make me? I welcome your suggestions or epithets.

The offensive cartoon above can be found on many offensive products here.