September 2nd, 2020
Jeremy Duncan is a 16-year old high school student from Ohio who aspires to be a musician. Along with his friends Pierce and Hector, he formed a band called “Goat Cheese Pizza” and hopes to tour the country in his dad’s minivan. Warped Tour may be no more, but “Goat Cheese Pizza” will ensure the spirit of the festival lives on in their shows! That is, of course, if they can get some allowance from their parents first.
Besides being musically talented, Jeremy is very intelligent and is always excelling in his exams. Yet, being a teenager comes with its share of mood swings, as his parents informs us. “He truly is a bright kid,” says his father Walt Duncan, “but I just wish he could just put that phone down and make some sense when he talks. I mean, does he not know that I’m actually a Gen X and not a Boomer??.”
In this current day and age of COVID-19, Jeremy’s plans for touring the country have been put on hold (though his parents insist that is a lie and it was never gonna happen anyway) so he spends his quarantine days studying, playing guitar and speaking to his “sort of” girlfriend Sara over text messages. With his parents’ permission, we were able to interview Jeremy in person (while maintaining social distance, of course) and get the inside look of Jeremy’s bedroom. Yes it kinda stinks in here but there is just an undeniable charm to the place that just spells “rock n’ roll” all over.
So what’s it like to be the protagonist of the popular comic strip Zits? How are his grades looking this year? Most importantly, what’s it like to be a ROCKSTAR? Continue reading below for our exclusive inside scoop!
How’s your day going so far, Jeremy?
Global pandemic… hybrid school schedule… widespread social unrest… my day’s going great! How about yours?
It’s…uh…it’s going pretty good um sorry is there something underneath that pile of laundry? It’s probably my imagination but I think just I saw it moving…
It lives here, so…
So how are you doing academically in high school? What would you say is your strongest school subject?
My GPA is 4.0, that puts me near the bottom of the high achievers. “Perfect” is the new “Not good enough”. I don’t have many enemies or anything, so I’d say my strength would be “blending in”.
What are you thinking of majoring in college?
Music. Psychology. Aerospace Engineering. Victorian Literature. Something in that range.
According to your parents Walt and Connie, you’re a very smart kid but you like to be “cut a little too much slack sometimes.” What does that mean and what do you have to say about it?
<He just gave a very rude NSFW gesture, so I’m just gonna add this picture to replace the answer.>
One big happy family.
How do you like Ohio? Would you consider moving somewhere else? If so, where?
Is that so? Well, I definitely don’t recommend Florida. They got alligators and hurricanes down there. It’s horrible.
I’ll take your word for it.
What inspired you to learn guitar?
Let’s talk about your band, Goat Cheese Pizza. How did you come up with the name?
It’s a kind of pizza that we ate. And there was a deadline. Plus, “Flatulent Rat” was already taken.
What bands would you consider influential to your band’s sound?
Wastemytime, Lame Interview, Forgotten Deodorant, Stupid Query, Your Mom Cuts Your Hair.
Your Mom Cuts Your Hair?? Holy Molly I saw them live at Warped Tour ’15! Those guys put on a great show! Love how the lead singer just throws a “Bruce Lee” up on stage, falls off, and just keeps singing with that energy.
Any big accomplishments so far with the band? Are there any future plans in the works?
Practice, buy more equipment, repeat.
Lastly, we need you to clear something up for us: Sara. So are you guys officially a serious thing or what?
“Oh, we’re done? K I’m just gonna NOT text Sara now. Could you tell my parents I’m in the mood for Chinese tonight on your way out? And please tell your readers to follow my band online? K thnx bai.”
Click here for more Zits, and stay tuned for more character interviews right here on Comics Kingdom!
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